The 5 Habits of Highly UNsuccessful MC Seekers

8:38 AM

One thing I noticed after the Raya holidays is that MC seekers, just like any other human being have habits. Through my observations, there are SEVEN traits which makes some MC seekers become HIGHLY UN-successful. Biasalah, dah cuti lama mesti la malas nak kerja balik kan?

1. Use repetitive words

Saya rasa macam nak demam. Rasa tak larat nak pergi KERJA. Saya KERJA dekat XXXX. Penat KERJA tu. Tempat KERJA saya tu air con kuat sangat. Tu yang saya tak larat KERJA ni.

See how many times KERJA is used?

2. Excessive faking

When sitting at the waiting area, they talk on the phone. Laugh with their partners in crime to their heart's content. Never at the slightest minute looking sick.

SATU - DUA - LIMA - LIMA - BILIK - ENAM

"Uhuuuuk"
The most fake (fakest?) cough you can ever hear.

"I woke up today with cough doctor. Very bad. Uhuukk. Snoorrt. Runny nose got also. Like demam also got."

Tipu or not ni?

3. Refuse any sort of confirmatory test

"Hmmm....seems you have a rather serious case of AGE. Diarrhea 20 times, vomiting 10 times. Any other person might be lembik already. Your BP and pulse rates looks normal also. Let's take some stool sample and blood test. Takut electrolyte imbalance pulak!"

"Never mind la doctor. OK je. Just give me some rest. I tak larat la nak pergi toilet je."

4. Inappropriate clothes

Severe diarrhea
Severe vomiting
Cannot tahan need to go to toilet so many times

But can wear so bling bling clothes like want to go shopping or clubbing. Can use so much perfume until can cause others to suffocate. Can have so spiky hair like use satu tong hair gel.



All this while the attending doctor have to see patients at 8 am sharp and have to deal with their own episodes of diarrhea and can't take MC for themselves because there are not enough MOs at the clinic.

5. Beating around the bush

"Badan rasa sejuk tapi panas di dalam. Saya ni demam kot."

Doctor picks up the thermometer and check the thermometer. "No fever".

"Pastu apa saya rasa ni? Ada la rasa pening pening sikit. Nafas ni bunyi macam semput"

The doctor proceeds to auscultate the lungs. All clear. SpO2 100% under room air. Respiratory rate normal. Throat clear, not injected.

"Jap. Tadi ada la cirit sikit. Rasa nak muntah pun ada."

Bowel sound normal.

After 10 minutes, while FIFTY other patients wait outside the consultation room with fifty different shades of madness (kemrahan), he finally blurts;

"Doktor, saya nak MC je. Tak larat nak kerja harini."

I wanted to make SEVEN habits but tak larat nak tulis dah. Don't take this too seriously though. I just need to take a breather from all this dizzying turmoil affecting Malaysia.

You can get this gem of a book as well to let off some steam.


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3 comments

  1. Haha the first one, sometimes after examine n think he fits for work, I just say, "okay encik boleh sambung kerja." Regardless.

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