Feeling Human

8:19 AM

Recently, a patient made me realize I am a human being. She did not give me any thank you card or flowers. She didn't really do anything actually. It was just a feeling I had from seeing her predicament. I haven't felt this way in a long time. It is not exactly a great feeling but it is what makes humans HUMAN. 


This lady had Diabetes Melitus Type 2. She was 14 weeks pregnant. She came to the clinic just to review her blood sugar profile. As I was doing a trans-abdominal ultrasound scan (TAS), I noted some deformity in the structure of the fetus. I scanned further and noted that there was an absent fetal heart.


If this had happened to me last year, when I was in Emergency Department, I wouldn't feel anything. Just another day at the job. There will be at least one miscarriage case per day. I would assess the patient, do a TAS and send the patient up to the gynae ward. I would dread having to call the usually moody and sometimes entah apa apa MO.

"Haih, case miscarriage lagi"....I would utter to myself. No pity, no kesian.

Death was a normal occurrence. I saw people dying everyday. A dead fetus was nothing to me. So as a suffering, grieving mother to be. I was numb. I was becoming a ROBODOC. I was efficient. I can see 10 patients an hour. I punch in at 8 am and punch out at 3 pm. have a late lunch, get home. The cycle repeats itself everyday.

When I saw this patient, I had a sense of PITY and SADness. I had SYMPATHY. I felt a loss for a life. I felt the patient's suffering. I was close to tears. Despite my sadness, I went home happy that day. I felt HUMAN. I managed to spend some time with the patient and console her.

Mungkin ini terbaik untuk baby tu. Jika janin tu survive pun takut dia cacat. Banyak banyak bersabar puan. Saya akan uruskan segala urusan sehingga awak sampai ke hospital.

It felt good trying my best to help a grieving patient. Another human being. I may be MOfrust but on this rare occasion, I felt like a TRUE DOCTOR.

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2 comments

  1. Yes, humanity remains in this profession! Stay human, MOFRUST~!

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  2. Finally you can feel that....the system actually drive us crazy...we are actually dealing with human and managing their feelings..not a robot ...we sometimes or most of the time forget...tapi takpe..betulkan niat ya...semoga Tuhan mengasihani kita pada saat kita pula dilanda kesusahan.

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